The trip went swimmingly until we got on the Embankment. Because of the crowds in London for Trooping the Colour the last half mile took 40 minutes.

Our driver managed to keep his cool while he navigated his way around the diversions under the direction of Julian our human Sat Nav!!  However we all got to enjoy the show and the journey home afterwards was very smooth.

The brunch itself was like a feast - Perry, Bob, Brad and Dudley had prepared food enough to feed 1,000′s! Thus, second helpings were enjoyed by most of the young people who attended.

After the food, Eddie introduced the DVD ‘Life without Limbs’, all about Nick Vujicic, a Serbian Australian evangelist born without all four limbs. Though it was only the first 15 minutes of the DVD it was a humorous and eye-opening introduction to a very inspirational person who knows he has been truly blessed by God.

The full showing of the DVD will be shown at St John’s at 7.30pm on Saturday, 8th June (at 7pm pizzas and ice cream will be served). Please let Julian (07535674594) or Eddie (07803716260) know if you want to come along.

We now hope to hold a Teen Brunch every term. Spread the word!

All creatures great and small

The comments some people make about articles on web versions of Fleet Street’s finest rags make me laugh. Anything to do with Christianity gets them coming out in droves to denounce it all as fairy tales. In one recent one I read, the writer stated that he had no problem with people holding beliefs, but as far as he was concerned, he was a born again atheist.

Now that’s intriguing. How can one be a born again atheist? We all know that born again Christians are viewed as up there with Superman by the media, as opposed to us unremarkable, ordinary Christians. Applying this to atheism is a whole different challenge. Or maybe it’s just the other side of the coin. Perhaps born again atheists have some kind of Damascene conversion. That would suggest some supernatural speaking to them, which would kind of back up the FOR argument. Maybe they mean they were reincarnated as an atheist. That says straight away that they have a soul to be born into a new body after a previous life, so that doesn’t wash.

I have thought long and hard about this and I cannot say that I have discovered the answer. The only advice I can give you is this……. if you’re considering becoming a born again atheist, be aware that they have to work harder at it than ordinary atheists. No more sitting in your armchair on a Sunday being mildly sceptical. With passionately held disbelief comes great responsibility.

As the old saying goes, be careful what you wish for, you may just get it.

***

On a recent attendance at St Mary’s, someone that I used to view as a friend said to me “We don’t allow St John’s spies up here.” I wondered if he thought that everyone at the Tesco’s end of the parish spent their time impersonating Ernst Stavro Blofeld, sitting in leather and stainless steel seats, stroking white cats and plotting fiendish ways to kill James Bond. Then I realised he goes to St John’s quite a bit himself, so he sees what goes on there too.

Could be he’s a double agent, selling secrets (and illicit hooch) to the Catholics?

Nah, what he is material that handed me a paragraph on a plate.

Be careful what you say to or around me folks, be very careful. You never know when you may be reading about yourself.

***

Talk about life imitating art. On my way to Laindon station the other morning, a man called to the dog he was walking. “Ralph!” he shouted, “Ralph!”

Pictures of talking wonderdogs came to mind and I half expected the animal to reply “Actually, my name is Marvo, but I’ll let you off for nooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww.”

***

Animals. Who’d have them? Now our cat is the most placid pussy you could imagine. She is so gentle, even when she doesn’t want a cuddle, she won’t bite or scratch to get away. Imagine my surprise when I had to take her to the vet for her annual jab last week then. I had no one around to help me get her into her carrying basket and oh boy was she NOT going to go quietly. She splayed out all four legs in a very passable impersonation of one of those Garfield toys that stick to the inside of car windows every time I pushed her head into the basket. With my hands ripped to shreds, I finally managed to get her in by positioning the basket vertically and dropping her into it before she knew what was happening. Gravity is mightier than the claws.

When she’s due for her booster in a couple of weeks, I’ll leave Jezebel to have all the fun.

***

I’m Ben Jericho, where’s the plasters?

First of all let me fill you in about these ancient yellow oddities – Well they are WII marine personnel landing craft and at that time they weren’t yellow for obvious reasons!!  Over 24 of us decided to travel to the London Eye where we picked up our vehicle and guide – that’s when the fun began.

Matthew, who once knew he had a bunch of Essex Anglicans onboard, announced forgiveness as he was a catholic.  He then started to enthral us with his knowledge, whit and rib tickling humour.  Only he could get away by telling us that:

• nothing is worn beneath a Scot man’s kilt – everything is in perfect working order
• that the first real Essex girl has been immortalised by a statue of Boudica
• when we enter the water those at the back may experience a slight dampness as the tsunami comes over the stern – but don’t worry it only comes up to your ears

He too, like a lot of us who have had the privilege to hear our new Archbishop, says he is a smashing humble person.  That raised a further cheer.  Matthew continued to impress and entertained us with his knowledge of our fare capital, interjecting famous literary quotes and sound effects from the onboard PA system.

When the duck takes to water it is surprising how low it sits in the river – I must admit I was relieved that nothing too big over took us or we would have been in for an early bath.  But I must admit some great views were had from the river.

The tour was about an hour long which was 59 minutes too short as we all could have listened to Matthew all day – a real great afternoon out.   Do come and talk to Bob and Liz Burton if you would like to know what other trips we have in-store.  You are more than welcome to come along.

Enjoy the photo’s

Easter Monday bank holiday, Jezebel rang the telephone company on behalf of her aged parent. After going through all the options – if you wish to pay a bill press 1, if you are moving house and wish to provide a final reading press 2, otherwise press 3, if you would like to discuss the weather press 1, if you need to report a leak press 2, if you agree with the chairman’s bonus press 3, to speak to a human press 4 – a recorded message told her the offices were shut for the bank holiday.

I could have told her that before she called.

She did have a point though when suggesting that the office closure message should be at the start of the recorded message, particularly when it’s always an 0870 number that keeps you for ages going through pointless options when only one person is manning (or womanning) the phones anyway.

No wonder our call is important to them, they rake it in making us use expensive phone numbers.

Jezebel went to Tesco’s recently for some essential groceries. On the way out she suggested that I “might want to hoover” while she’s out. Well I don’t know about you, but how did she know what I did or didn’t want. Later the same day, the first that she was able to put some washing out on the line since 2012, she asked did I “want to get the washing in?”

It staggers me that females are said to be better communicators than males. If she wanted me to hoover and to bring the washing in, the best way to obtain my co-operation is to ask me outright to do it, but don’t ever say I might want to do something, because believe me, NO I BLINKIN WELL DON’T.

Later that week, we had yet another snowfall on the Thursday, which had miraculously thawed by the Friday. The ground was dry, so I thought I’d get out in the garden and tackle the last few triffids we hadn’t got around to pruning in the autumn. Although it was dry, it was freezing cold and blowing a gale. Nature in the raw. Man versus Venus fly trap.

Jezebel directed me from the warmth of the living room, pointing to the bushes she wanted trimmed and gesticulating wildly whenever I went near one she wanted left alone. After an hour or so of filling green wheelie bins, there was no jungle left that she allowed me to attack. Unlike Captain Oates, I decided I’d been gone long enough.

Safely back inside, I thanked Jezebel sarcastically for her assistance. “No problem,” she said, “we’re a team.”

I’m Ben Jericho, award winning hack. Have chainsaw, will travel.

Christians believe that the resurrection of Jesus was a unique historical event. Although we may argue about exactly how it might have happened (e.g. physically or spiritually) the fact of the resurrection is essential to the Christian faith. Our faith simply doesn’t hang together without it.

The resurrection was God’s affirmation that Christ’s death on the cross achieved the forgiveness of our sins and enabled us to be reconciled to God. It is because of the resurrection that we can claim that Jesus is alive today and is able to pour his spiritual life into us by His Spirit. Christ’s resurrection is also our assurance that we too will be raised to eternal life with Him.

The resurrection remains a stumbling block to many who are otherwise attracted to Christian faith. They find it just too incredible.

That should remind those of us who do believe just how extraordinary a claim it is. It is one of those things that you only believe because you have to – because it is the only explanation that makes sense of your experience of God. Even Jesus’ disciples took some convincing that it was true!

But sometimes we can be so taken up with debate about this single historical event that we fail to notice the more general truth that it reveals. Everything about who Jesus was and what He did reveals truth about God to us – and His resurrection even more so. It reveals to us a fundamental truth about the way God works in our lives and in our world today. And this is it, stated baldly…

God does not prevent crucifixion, he redeems it through resurrection.

What does that mean? It means that although we generally pray to God to stop bad things from happening God very often allows bad things to happen. There is no shortage of evidence for that in our suffering world! But what God is able to do is to transform even the worst things into something good.

Thus God did not prevent the crucifixion. Although we may celebrate what Jesus achieved through the cross it was a very bad thing in itself. There was no shortcutting of the pain or the evil of it. But, because Jesus faced it with faith, God transformed this genuinely appalling and wicked event into a great triumph of goodness and love. He redeemed it through the resurrection.

So for us God may not prevent our crucifixions. They may take many forms – bereavement; illness; persecution etc. But as He called Jesus so He calls us to face those crucifixions with faith. When we do that it may not numb our pain, but it will open up the possibility of resurrection. We give God the chance to do something extraordinary – to bring good even out of evil.

Often we cannot see where any good might come from (any more than Jesus’ disciples could see any good coming out of the cross on Good Friday) but if we cling to God, however desperately, then God can weave goodness and redemption out of broken hearts and battered lives.

Resurrection is not just something that happened once 2000 years ago. It is the pattern of the way that God has always worked and of the way that he works in our lives and in our world today.

Rev Colin Hopkinson

There should be an article elsewhere in this month’s magazine explaining what you can do if you’re a regular donor and want to keep the money flowing while CJUK gets a new account opened.

We hope to have this fixed soon, but meanwhile, thank you very much for your support and generosity. Without your help, none of what Pat and Len have managed to achieve in the 6 years we’ve been sending them funds would have been possible.

Have you seen that Tesco are now charging for air at their petrol stations? I found this out when I had a flat recently and my own car tyre pump gave up the ghost. Guess how much 2 minutes of air will cost you. Go on, guess.

Nothing. Zip, zilch, nada. That’s right. Tesco paid me to take their air last weekend. It was chucking it down of rain and as I tried to fill my tyre, having deposited the 20p demanded, I was getting soaked and no air was flowing. I didn’t have me titfer on, so the rain was bypassing what little hair I have left in its race to the sea via the back of my neck.

I sent Jezebel into the shop for help as I held the nozzle on the tyre in case something did stir.

It turns out their were a couple of coins stuck in the machine. A couple of hefty thumps by the Tesco operative released 60 pence. 20 fed the machine once more, which this time was happy to dispense air again as was its deemed purpose, the other 40 the Tesco staff member gave me just in case the machine played up again.

So their you have it. I had a working tyre again PLUS I was 20p in profit. Well done, Tesco. Every little helps.

Jezebel’s and my passports expired last year. We need new ones for this year, so we duly completed our forms and then set off in search of an upstanding member of the community to certify that our mugshots were true likenesses. We ended up having to ask Colin. Jezebel just looks slightly quizzical in her photo, but otherwise reasonably presentable. Mine, on the other hand……… well let’s just say even I would not hand an axe to the person glowering at me, not if I wanted to turn my back on him and still draw a pension.

What is it the poet wrote? Auchtermuctie gift to gee us tae see oorselfes es aethers see us.

On the subject of holidays, a frog was enjoying a change of scenery from his usual lily pad. He found a nice B&B in Rhyl to stay in. At breakfast the next morning the waitress asked if he’d like cornflakes. He declined. Would he like the full English, she wondered. Again he declined. Kippers? No. She asked him what he would like and he replied “Rarebit, rarebit.”

I suppose I shouldn’t let this column go without making some reference to the appointment of Pope Francis. An Argentinian by all accounts with a passion for the rights of the oppressed, so long as they don’t live on the Falklands and want to stay British is my guess. I wonder if he can talk to animals.

I’m Ben Jericho. Hasta la vista, babies.

AND

ANNUAL PAROCHIAL CHURCH MEETING

Sunday 14^th April 2013 at 7-9 pm following Worship at St John’s Church at 6.30pm

All members on the electoral roll or resident in the parish and on a Register of Local Government Electors are warmly invited to attend the above meetings at which we will be appointing our Churchwardens, their Deputies, a Deanery Synod Representative, PCC members and Sidespersons for 2013/2014.

Nominations forms will shortly be displayed on the notice boards of both churches.

At the APCM, in addition to the Rector’s Annual Report, there will be presentation of Annual Reports on the proceedings of the PCC and the Deanery Synod, the Fabric of each Church, the Churchwardens’ reports, the activities of church, youth and uniformed groups, submission of the new electoral roll and submission of audited financial statements and report from the Treasurer.

Please come and join us.

A booklet containing the Agenda, last year’s Minutes and the reports will be available from Sunday 7^th April.For further information please contact Ann Sargent – PCC Secretary.  ann.sargent1@tiscali.co.uk

Please remember to sign up for the NEW electoral roll. Forms are at the back of each church. This year we have to produce a completely new Electoral Roll throughout the Church of England; there is no automatic inclusion!

This important document will give a snapshot of Christian presence in our area, as well as feed in to the national picture.

Many thanks to Sue & John Purbrick, Liz & Bob Burton and Pat Ali who helped set up the tables, etc. and prepared all the refreshments. Also to Perry Childs for getting the film (Salmon Fishing in the Yemen) ready to show. And to Alex, Charlie, Megan, Josh, Sarah, Liz, Grace & Katie (supported by Sally Childs & Jane Curno), the young people who did us proud once again.